What can only be described as a dark 24 hours, we've decided to sum up our Russian travels thus far by offering tips to those who may find themselves driving through the roads less traveled in South West Russia.
1) Russians can be a bit gruff, but often times turn into teddy bears after 5 mins of attempted conversation (and the magic letter).
2) Russian border guards are chauvinistic and believe women belong in the back of the car and should not speak unless spoken to (and even then you might be pushing it).
3) If you can't find a place to sleep find a cab driver (ideally one that looks like Dustin Hoffman), draw a bed and $30 on a piece of paper and follow him to the only Soviet style hotel in town.
4) Don't cross the border without Russian Rubles and take out money whenever you find an ATM.
5) When approached by a scary Russian man who reeks of Vodka (even when standing in a different room) do not make eye contact, let him tug on your shirt and drunkenly slur his Russian words while praying that the hand motions he is making is to eat and drink together versus "I want to pound your face in".
6) Do not cross solid white lines even if the car in front of you is maxing out at 10mph. Sneaky Russian 5-0 love busting people for this.
7) Always make sure there are two cars in front of you when passing a policeman.
8) Be patient and be prepared to wait when crossing Russian borders.
9) Expect to be looked at less favorably for speaking English and try and learn a bit of Russian in order to understand road signs.
10) Always pee when you can, nothing is a guarantee here.
Got out of the car on the side of the highway for some fresh air
Depends on the day, sometimes good...
sometimes not so good.
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