To spice up our team page we have all answered a few questions in relation to the trip and our personalities. We played around with the idea of having the bonus question: "Which team member would you eat if you had to?". Matt really put a lot of thought into this and as you can see below it really deserves its own page.
Q: Which team member would you eat if you had to?
Matt's response:
Now, I've spent a long time thinking about this and I've already pre-warned the team to my answer. The length of this answer is potentially disturbing but I want to answer each question as honestly as I can.
The team member I would eat would be… Simon
I know that on the sliding scale of interaction Simon tops the bill against Kassie and Meghan. Kassie I've only know for the last five or so years and Meghan, the last five or so minutes. But… It does make sense when you look at it:-
1. Simon is by far the meatiest amongst us all. I'm not saying parts of Meghan, Kass and myself wouldn't roast rather well in a Mongol smoked hut but… look at him. There's a fair amount of rump when you get past the hair, there's a good deal of fat in amongst the meat, and I can imagine with the right seasoning and cooked to medium to medium rare, he'll taste not far off beef.
2. Simon is my brother. Looking at the family dynasty purely as a business, that's one less mouth to feed. Plus, when the parents die there's one less name on the will… Hello Mum and Dad
3. Simon is a man. Did you know that you get 7% less body heat from snuggling up with someone of the same sex rather than someone of the opposite one? If the nights are going to get long and cold in and around November and longer still into winter, and we're still stuck somewhere in France, I'm going to need as much body heat as I can get. The other thing is… well… this is going to sound weird. Especially to my girlfriend who'll be reading this… but in what conditions have we resorted to cannibalism? Has the world ended? Was it a zombie attack? Are we the only people still left alive? If so we're going to have to pro-create as much as possible…. And although the thought of even hugging Kass is sometimes vomit inducing, I'd do what I'd have to if we were the only means of keeping humanity alive.
4. Simon is the eldest. You know when people say… He had a good life. It was the right time? Well Si is the nearest one of us to say that. Now, I know what you're going to say… Meghan is actually older than Simon by about 6 months. But… women tend to live on average, three years longer than men. Which means Si, based purely on averages, will be the first to croak. After that it's Meghan next, me after that, being the baby of the group, and Kassie after that. Women and children first after all…
I think you can see I've spent a good time thinking about this and my conclusions are based on nothing but scientific rational
